Chapter 11 Exercises: Attachment Theory and Adult Romance

Exercise 11.1: Running the ECR-R Quiz Script

Type: Computational/Reflective Time: 30–45 minutes Materials: Python 3.x with matplotlib and numpy installed; code/attachment_quiz_scorer.py

Instructions

  1. Navigate to the chapter's code/ subdirectory and run the script: python attachment_quiz_scorer.py The script will either prompt you to enter responses for all 36 ECR-R items interactively, or you can edit the DEMO_MODE = True flag at the top of the file to run with a preset sample response set and observe how the scoring and visualization work.

  2. After running the script, note your anxiety subscale score (out of 7.0) and your avoidance subscale score (out of 7.0). Note where your dot appears on the 2D attachment space plot.

  3. Review the interpretation the script provides. Pay attention to how the script frames the output — as a snapshot for self-reflection, not a diagnostic label.

Reflection Questions (written response, 300–400 words)

Answer the following in a short essay:

  • What does your score tell you, and what doesn't it tell you? Consider: the score reflects your responses today, about one type of relationship context, using self-report. What are at least two reasons your score might not be a complete picture of your relational patterns?

  • Thinking about the anxiety and avoidance dimensions as continuous: Rather than asking "what style am I?", ask "where on these two dimensions do I recognize my own tendencies?" Are there specific situations (early in a new relationship vs. established relationships; romantic vs. friendship contexts) where your position on these dimensions might shift?

  • The ECR-R was developed primarily with Western university students. Does anything about the items or the framing feel like it might not translate across cultural contexts you're familiar with? Which items seem most culturally specific to you?

Exercise 11.2: Critically Evaluating the Measure

Type: Methodological analysis Time: 20–30 minutes

Instructions

Look up the original ECR-R paper: Fraley, R. C., Waller, N. G., & Brennan, K. A. (2000). An item response theory analysis of self-report measures of adult attachment. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78(2), 350–365. Most university libraries have access.

Read the abstract and the discussion section, then answer the following:

  1. What is item response theory (IRT), and why did Fraley and colleagues use it to evaluate attachment items rather than simpler reliability measures? (2–3 sentences)

  2. The ECR-R uses general relationship orientation as its referent (how you feel in close relationships generally). Some researchers argue it's better to measure attachment to a specific current partner. What are the arguments on each side? Which approach do you find more compelling, and why?

  3. If you were designing a study that measured attachment style in a non-WEIRD (Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich, Democratic) population, what modifications might you consider to the standard ECR-R protocol?

Exercise 11.3: Applying Attachment Theory to Observed Patterns

Type: Analytical/observational Time: 30–45 minutes Important: This exercise asks you to analyze patterns you have observed in relationships — not necessarily your own. Use examples from film, literature, conversations you've witnessed, or composite/fictionalized scenarios if you prefer to maintain privacy.

Instructions

Identify a relationship pattern (real or fictional) that you have observed where there seems to be a consistent dynamic — one person pursuing closeness while the other creates distance, or one person consistently reassuring a partner who never seems fully reassured, or two people who oscillate between intense intimacy and sudden distance.

Write a 400–500 word analysis that addresses:

  1. Describe the pattern you've observed — what behaviors, what communication patterns, what emotional textures characterize it?

  2. Apply the attachment framework. Which attachment styles might each person in the pattern be exhibiting? Use the specific behavioral signatures discussed in the chapter (hyperactivating vs. deactivating strategies, model of self/other).

  3. Consider alternative explanations. Attachment theory is one framework; what else might explain the pattern? (Differences in communication styles? Life stress? Mismatched relationship goals? Situational factors?)

  4. What does the attachment framework help you see that other frameworks might miss? What does it miss?

Exercise 11.4: Discussion — Should Attachment Style Be Disclosed?

Type: Seminar discussion / short position paper Time: 45–60 minutes (includes group discussion)

Context

Amir Levine and Rachel Heller's popular book Attached (2010) advocates for early disclosure of attachment style in new romantic relationships — essentially treating it as important information about compatibility that partners have a right to know. This view has become influential in popular psychology and online dating culture.

Instructions

Before discussion, write a 200–300 word position statement on the following prompt:

"Should people disclose their attachment style to potential romantic partners early in the dating process? What are the strongest arguments for doing so, and what are the strongest arguments against?"

You do not need to advocate for a position you actually hold — you may argue either side, or a nuanced middle position.

Discussion questions for group:

  1. Is attachment style "stable enough" to be meaningful information to disclose? What are the conditions under which early disclosure might be useful vs. misleading?

  2. Does the framing of attachment as a "style" or "type" risk becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy? If someone is told they are "anxiously attached," does naming it help or hinder change?

  3. Who benefits most from attachment disclosure norms? Consider how these norms might work differently across class, race, and gender contexts.

  4. The chapter notes that anxious attachment may complicate giving and receiving genuine consent. Does this add an ethical dimension to the disclosure question? If so, how?

Complete all written exercises before the next seminar session. Bring your Exercise 11.3 analysis for sharing if you are comfortable — we'll use peer examples as the basis for group discussion.