Chapter 18 Exercises: Reciprocity, Commitment, and the Psychology of Obligation

Instructions

These exercises are designed to deepen understanding of reciprocity and commitment mechanisms in social media through personal reflection, empirical observation, critical analysis, and creative engagement. Exercises are labeled by type: [Reflection], [Research], [Analysis], [Creative], and [Group Discussion].

  1. [Reflection] "The Comment Ledger" Think about your own social media use. Do you maintain an informal mental accounting of who has engaged with your content and who you "owe" engagement in return, similar to Maya's experience described in the chapter? Write a one-page reflection on whether you experience social reciprocity pressure on platforms, and how you manage or ignore it.

  2. [Research] Cialdini's Influence in Practice Obtain a copy of Robert Cialdini's Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion (any edition) and read Chapter 2 on Reciprocity. Identify three examples from everyday life — outside of social media — where the reciprocity principle operates. Then identify three social media equivalents of each example. Write a comparative analysis of 500-700 words.

  3. [Analysis] Notification Audit For one full week, keep a log every time you receive a social media notification that prompts you to take an action on a platform (returning to like, comment, respond, etc.). Record the platform, the type of notification, your emotional response (did you feel obligated?), and whether you acted on it. At the end of the week, analyze your data: What percentage of your social media actions were obligation-driven rather than intrinsically motivated?

  4. [Reflection] Mapping Your Sunk Costs Choose the social media platform where you have the most accumulated investment. Make a detailed list of what you would lose if you deleted your account today — followers, content archives, relationships, community memberships, professional connections, achievement badges, etc. Estimate how many hours of your life each element represents. Reflect: Does the total make you feel more or less convinced that the investment was worthwhile?

  5. [Research] Follow-for-Follow Culture Research the "F4F" (follow-for-follow) phenomenon on Instagram, TikTok, or YouTube by reading community discussions on Reddit, YouTube commentary, or creator blogs. How do creators describe the social norms around follow reciprocity? How do they feel when someone doesn't follow back? Write a 400-word summary of what you find.

  6. [Analysis] Read Receipt Ethics Survey 10 of your friends or classmates about their feelings regarding read receipts in messaging apps. Do they find read receipts useful, stressful, or some combination? Do they feel obligated to respond when they know the sender can see they've read the message? Analyze the results and consider what the data suggests about the psychological impact of this design choice.

  7. [Creative] The Obligation Map Create a visual "obligation map" for your most-used social media platform. Draw connections showing every reciprocity obligation you maintain — who you regularly engage with and who regularly engages with you. Use different line weights to indicate the strength of the felt obligation. Annotate with notes about how these obligations developed and what would happen if you stopped fulfilling them.

  8. [Group Discussion] The Ethics of Manufactured Obligation In groups of 3-4, debate the following proposition: "Social media platforms that design notification systems to create felt social obligations are engaging in manipulation that undermines user autonomy." One side argues for the proposition; the other argues against. After 15 minutes, switch sides and argue the opposite position. Then discuss as a group: what elements of the strongest arguments from each side do you find most persuasive?

  9. [Research] LinkedIn's Endorsement Economy Create a LinkedIn profile (or use an existing one) and deliberately give five skill endorsements to connections without having received endorsements first. Over the next two weeks, track whether you receive endorsements in return. Also note any changes in your profile view count and any other engagement notifications you receive as a result of your endorsement activity. What does this experiment suggest about LinkedIn's reciprocity mechanics?

  10. [Reflection] The Foot-in-the-Door in Your Own History Recall when you first joined the social media platform you use most heavily. Reconstruct the sequence of commitments you made during the onboarding process and in your first weeks of use. Map this sequence against the foot-in-the-door escalation ladder described in the chapter. At what point did you feel genuinely committed to the platform? What was the decisive commitment?

  11. [Analysis] Platform Switching Cost Calculation Research what data you can and cannot export from your primary social media platform. Visit the platform's data download tools and attempt to export your data. Review what is included and what is absent from the export. Write an analysis of what a "complete" data export would need to include to enable genuine platform switching, and what gaps exist in what the platform actually provides.

  12. [Creative] Write the Transparency Notice Write a hypothetical "reciprocity disclosure" that a social media platform might include during onboarding if it were required to honestly explain its notification and obligation architecture to new users. The notice should be accurate, clear, and written in plain language — as if the platform were required by law to disclose how its engagement mechanics work.

  13. [Research] Birthday Notification History Research the history of Facebook's birthday notification system. When was it introduced? How has it evolved? Find any available data on its impact on daily active user engagement. Also search for user discussions about the feature on forums and comment sections — do users view it as a helpful social tool, a spam mechanism, or something else? Write a 500-word historical and user-perception analysis.

  14. [Group Discussion] Group Chat Obligation Norms In your class group, discuss the norms your friend groups have developed around group chats. Do you feel obligated to respond to group messages? Are there explicit or implicit rules about response time? What happens when someone doesn't respond? Compare how these norms differ across different group chat contexts (close friends vs. class group vs. family vs. work). What does this variation tell you about how social obligation norms form?

  15. [Analysis] The Consistency Principle in Political Identity The chapter notes that public commitments on social media create consistency pressure that may entrench political views. Find three examples from news coverage or social media (screenshots, articles) where someone appears to double down on a position they've publicly expressed, even in the face of contradictory evidence. Analyze each example: Is this genuine conviction or consistency pressure? How can you tell?

  16. [Research] Interoperability and Portability Policy Research the current state of social media data portability policy. Look specifically at: the EU's GDPR Article 20 on data portability, the US ACCESS Act proposal, and any platform-specific data portability tools (Facebook's Transfer Your Information, etc.). Write a policy brief of 600-800 words analyzing the gap between what current regulations require and what genuine social graph portability would require.

  17. [Reflection] Obligation vs. Desire For the next three days, before you open any social media app, ask yourself: "Am I opening this because I want to, or because I feel I should?" Keep a simple tally. At the end of three days, calculate what percentage of your social media sessions were obligation-driven. Write a reflection on what you discover about the role of obligation in your platform use.

  18. [Creative] Design an Anti-Obligation Interface Redesign the notification system for a major social media platform to minimize manufactured obligation while preserving genuine social connection. Create a written specification or visual mockup of your redesigned notification system, explaining every design choice and how it differs from the current design and why the difference matters.

  19. [Analysis] Comparing Platform Commitment Architecture Compare the onboarding processes of three different social media platforms (e.g., Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok). For each platform, document every step of the onboarding process and identify the commitment ladder being constructed. Which platform's onboarding is most sophisticated as a foot-in-the-door sequence? Which is least? What does this variation suggest about each platform's strategic priorities?

  20. [Group Discussion] The Competitive Obligation Race Discuss the "collective action problem" described in the Velocity Media sidebar: if one platform reduces obligation architecture but competitors don't, the ethical platform loses users. In small groups, brainstorm potential solutions to this problem. Consider regulatory approaches, industry self-regulation, user-side tools, and market-based solutions. Which solutions does your group find most promising and why?

  21. [Research] Neuroscience of Social Obligation Research the neuroscience of reciprocity more deeply. Look for academic articles on the ventromedial prefrontal cortex and reciprocity, the role of oxytocin in social obligation, and fMRI studies on social norm violation (failing to reciprocate). Write a 500-word summary for a general audience explaining what the neuroscience tells us about why social obligation feels the way it does.

  22. [Reflection] The Professional LinkedIn Trap If you have a LinkedIn profile, reflect on how often you engage with the platform out of professional obligation rather than genuine interest. Do you feel pressure to congratulate connections on new jobs? To respond to connection requests from people you barely know? To endorse skills for people who endorse yours? Write a reflection on how the professional context changes the nature and intensity of reciprocity obligation.

  23. [Analysis] The DM Response Norm Interview five people of different ages (ideally spanning at least two generations — for example, someone under 25 and someone over 40) about their expectations around responding to direct messages on social media and messaging apps. How quickly do they expect responses? What do they feel when someone doesn't respond? How do their norms compare? What does this intergenerational comparison suggest about how platform design shapes social norms?

  24. [Creative] The Sunk Cost Letter Write a letter from your future self (five or ten years from now) to your current self about your current social media investments. The letter should honestly assess whether the investments you are currently making — in time, emotional energy, social reciprocity, content creation — will have been worthwhile in retrospect. What advice does your future self give?

  25. [Research] Cialdini's "Pre-Suasion" and Platform Design Read sections of Cialdini's follow-up book Pre-Suasion (2016), particularly the chapters on attention and association. How does the concept of "pre-suasion" (setting the stage for influence before the direct ask) apply to social media notification design? Write a 500-word analysis connecting pre-suasion theory to one specific platform's notification strategy.

  26. [Group Discussion] Who Is Responsible? The chapter argues that ethical responsibility falls disproportionately on platforms due to power asymmetry. In a group discussion, challenge this claim: What responsibilities do users have for their own obligation patterns? What role should parents play for minors? What role do educators have? What role does government have? Map out a "responsibility distribution" that your group agrees is fair and defensible.

  27. [Analysis] Measuring Group Chat Pressure Over one week, document your participation in group chats. Note every time you respond to a group message primarily because you felt obligated rather than because you had something substantive to contribute. Also note when you deliberately chose not to respond and how that felt. At the end of the week, analyze: What percentage of your group chat activity was obligation-driven? What would the chat look like if only genuinely substantive contributions were made?

  28. [Creative] Platform-Free Social Design Imagine you are designing a system for maintaining social relationships that captures all the genuine benefits of social media (connection, sharing, community, discovery) but eliminates manufactured obligation. This system does not need to use the internet or apps — it can be any combination of practices and tools. Describe your system in detail and explain how it eliminates each of the obligation mechanisms described in the chapter.

  29. [Research] Community Norms and Contribution Expectations Research "lurker" behavior in online communities — users who consume content without contributing. Find academic research on lurker rates (typically 90%+ in most online communities), how lurkers differ from active contributors, and how platforms have tried to convert lurkers to contributors. Write a 500-word analysis: Is lurking a form of reciprocity violation? Or is it a legitimate mode of community participation?

  30. [Reflection] The Notification-Free Day Spend one full day with all social media notifications turned off. At the end of the day, write a reflection. Did you feel anxious? Relieved? Did you miss anything important? Did you find yourself checking social media more or less than usual? What does your experience tell you about the role of notifications in creating a sense of social obligation and urgency?

  31. [Analysis] Comparing Read Receipt Design Choices Research the read receipt policies of five different messaging or social media platforms (e.g., iMessage, WhatsApp, Instagram DMs, Facebook Messenger, Signal). For each: Is the feature enabled by default? Can users turn it off? Is it mutual (both parties can see each other's read receipts) or asymmetric? Create a comparison table and analyze what each platform's choices suggest about their attitude toward user autonomy and social obligation.

  32. [Creative] The Ethics Board Memo You are Dr. Aisha Johnson, Velocity Media's ethics lead. Write a memo to CEO Sarah Chen and Head of Product Marcus Webb making the case for a fundamental redesign of the notification system to reduce manufactured social obligation. Your memo should acknowledge competitive pressures while making an ethical and — critically — business case for why reducing obligation architecture would serve the company's long-term interests.

  33. [Research] FOMO and Obligation: The Research Literature Research the relationship between Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) and social media use obligation. Find at least three peer-reviewed studies on FOMO and social media (search Google Scholar, PsycINFO, or similar). Write a 400-word summary explaining whether FOMO is primarily a reciprocity/obligation phenomenon, a social proof phenomenon, or some combination. How do the studies distinguish between these mechanisms?

  34. [Group Discussion] Designing for Serendipity vs. Obligation One critique of obligation-heavy social media is that it crowds out serendipitous, intrinsically motivated engagement — the joy of discovering something unexpected or sharing something because you genuinely want to. In groups, discuss: What would a social media platform that prioritized serendipity over obligation look like? What features would it have? What features would it explicitly not have? Is such a platform commercially viable? Why or why not?

  35. [Analysis] Regulatory Approaches to Engineered Obligation Research how existing regulations have addressed (or failed to address) the specific mechanisms described in this chapter. Look at the EU's Digital Services Act, the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA), the UK's Age Appropriate Design Code, and any other relevant regulations. Write a 600-word policy analysis: What obligation-creating practices do current regulations prohibit or restrict? What practices remain unaddressed? What new regulations would you propose?