Chapter 25: Quiz
1. The Michelangelo effect (Drigotas et al., 1999) describes: - A) The tendency to idealize your partner unrealistically - B) The process by which romantic partners sculpt each other toward their ideal selves through behavioral affirmation - C) The belief that your partner is a work of art - D) The tendency to compare your partner to a statue
Answer: B. Partners who affirm each other's ideal-self development help each other grow. This well-replicated finding contradicts the "you can't change anyone" doctrine.
2. People who hold "destiny beliefs" about relationships tend to: - A) Have better relationship outcomes - B) Cope worse with relationship difficulties — interpreting problems as evidence the relationship isn't right, rather than as challenges to address - C) Work harder on their relationships - D) Have longer marriages
Answer: B. Knee (1998) found that destiny believers cope worse with difficulty, while growth believers treat problems as opportunities for development.
3. Gottman's "masters" of relationships differ from "disasters" primarily in: - A) They never argue - B) They have higher IQ - C) They turn toward each other's bids for connection 86% of the time (vs. 33%), express appreciation regularly, manage conflict skillfully, and create shared meaning - D) They have matching love languages
Answer: C. The behavioral differences between masters and disasters are specific, measurable, and learnable.
4. "If the relationship requires work, it's not the right relationship" is: - A) Strongly supported by research - B) Debunked — all long-term relationships require active maintenance, and couples who believe in effortless love have worse outcomes - C) True only for the first year - D) Supported by Gottman's research
Answer: B. Every longitudinal study of relationships shows that satisfaction requires active investment. The effortless love ideal is contradicted by the evidence.
5. The antidote to contempt (the deadliest of the Four Horsemen) is: - A) More contempt - B) Building a culture of appreciation — expressing fondness and admiration regularly - C) Ignoring the problem - D) Couples therapy
Answer: B. Contempt is countered by cultivating and expressing genuine appreciation and admiration — a preventive practice, not just a reactive one.
6. Research on partner influence shows that partners affect each other's: - A) Nothing — partners are independent - B) Health behaviors, emotional regulation, personality traits, and goals — mutual influence is well-documented - C) Only their appearance - D) Only their political views
Answer: B. Partners influence each other across multiple dimensions. The "you can't change anyone" doctrine ignores this well-documented mutual influence.
7. The dialectical approach to partner acceptance and change involves: - A) Only accepting your partner, never encouraging growth - B) Only pushing your partner to change - C) Holding acceptance and change simultaneously — accepting who they are while supporting their development - D) Alternating between acceptance and criticism
Answer: C. The evidence supports both acceptance (realistic, non-judgmental) and support for growth (the Michelangelo effect) — not one or the other.
8. "Love is enough to sustain a relationship" is: - A) A core finding of relationship research - B) Debunked — love provides motivation, but skills (conflict management, responsiveness, appreciation, repair) are also necessary - C) True if the love is genuine - D) Only true for arranged marriages
Answer: B. Many couples who love each other deeply still struggle or divorce because they lack the specific relationship skills that maintain satisfaction over time.
9. Gottman's prediction of divorce at ~90% accuracy is based primarily on: - A) Love language matching - B) The presence and frequency of the Four Horsemen (especially contempt) in couple interactions - C) Personality compatibility - D) Financial income
Answer: B. The Four Horsemen — criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling — are the behavioral patterns that predict dissolution.
10. The chapter's overall message about changing your partner is: - A) It's impossible — never try - B) It's easy if you love each other enough - C) Coercive change doesn't work, but collaborative growth does — partners naturally influence each other, and the evidence supports mutual support for development combined with realistic acceptance - D) Only therapists can change people
Answer: C. The nuanced position: don't coerce, but do support. Partners shape each other inevitably — the question is whether that shaping is intentional and positive or unintentional and harmful.