Quiz — Chapter 16: Communication That Actually Works

25 questions. Answer key at end.

1. The transactional model of communication differs from the transmission model primarily in proposing that:

A) Communication is primarily about verbal content — the words chosen B) Meaning is co-constructed through continuous interaction, with both parties simultaneously sending and receiving C) Communication problems are caused by information leaks in the transmission pipeline D) Listening is more important than speaking in effective communication

2. When verbal and nonverbal communication channels conflict, receivers generally:

A) Prioritize the verbal content, assuming people say what they mean B) Prioritize the nonverbal and paraverbal signals, especially in emotionally important contexts C) Request clarification before interpreting the message D) Default to the most positive interpretation of the conflicting signals

3. "Congruent communication" refers to communication in which:

A) Both parties are saying the same thing B) The verbal, paraverbal, and nonverbal channels are all sending the same message C) The content matches the listener's expectations D) The speaker uses words accurately and precisely

4. Which of the following is the most accurate description of active listening?

A) Listening without speaking — allowing the other person to talk without interruption B) Preparing a thoughtful response while the other person talks C) Attending, following, reflecting, summarizing, and checking comprehension — listening to understand rather than to respond D) Agreeing with what the other person says to make them feel heard

5. According to Gibb's research, which of the following communication behaviors produces a defensive climate?

A) Using "I" statements to describe personal experience B) Expressing genuine curiosity about the other person's perspective C) Global evaluations of the other person's character ("you always," "you never") D) Explicitly acknowledging the possibility of being wrong

6. Gottman's research identified contempt as the most corrosive of the Four Horsemen because:

A) It is the most common pattern in distressed couples B) It conveys disgust or moral superiority — the deepest form of disrespect, and the strongest predictor of relationship dissolution C) It is the only pattern that is impossible to interrupt once it begins D) It directly produces stonewalling, which is the most damaging of the four patterns

7. Which of the following is an example of a "complaint" rather than a "criticism" (in Gottman's distinction)?

A) "You're so inconsiderate — you never think about how your choices affect me." B) "When you came home two hours late without calling, I felt anxious because I didn't know if something had happened to you." C) "You're incapable of being on time. It's disrespectful." D) "All you ever do is put your own convenience first."

8. In Gottman's model, stonewalling typically occurs because:

A) The partner who stonewalls is indifferent to the conversation B) The stonewallerp is using a deliberate manipulation tactic to gain power in the conflict C) The person's heart rate has exceeded a threshold at which productive conversation becomes physiologically impossible — the stonewall is often overwhelm, not indifference D) Stonewalling is characteristic of avoidant attachment and reflects learned dismissiveness

9. The "rehearsal problem" in listening refers to:

A) Practicing what to say before an important conversation reduces authenticity B) Listening quality is reduced because the listener is mentally composing a response while the speaker is still talking C) Over-preparing for difficult conversations makes them feel scripted and inauthentic D) Repeating what the speaker said back to them ("rehearsing" it) is an active listening technique

10. In Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication framework, which of the following is a genuine "feeling" rather than a "pseudo-feeling"?

A) "I feel like you don't respect me." B) "I feel abandoned." C) "I feel hurt." D) "I feel that you're being unfair."

11. In NVC, the difference between an "observation" and an "evaluation" is:

A) Observations are positive; evaluations are negative B) Observations describe specific, behavioral, time-limited facts; evaluations are interpretations, generalizations, or character assessments C) Observations are about events; evaluations are about feelings D) Observations are shorter than evaluations

12. The NVC format for a complete communication is:

A) Event → Interpretation → Emotion → Consequence B) Observation → Feeling → Need → Request C) Complaint → Explanation → Apology → Agreement D) Concern → Feeling → Evidence → Solution

13. Stone, Patton, and Heen's framework proposes that every difficult conversation contains three simultaneous conversations. Which of the following correctly identifies all three?

A) The content conversation, the process conversation, and the relationship conversation B) The "what happened" story, the feelings story, and the identity story C) The problem conversation, the solution conversation, and the follow-up conversation D) The verbal conversation, the nonverbal conversation, and the hidden conversation

14. The "identity story" in a difficult conversation refers to:

A) Each party's account of their personal history as relevant to the conflict B) The underlying concerns about the sense of self — whether the conversation confirms negative identity beliefs — that drive defensiveness in difficult conversations C) The narrative each person tells about who started the conflict D) The shared identity of the relationship or group that is threatened by the conflict

15. Which of the four communication styles is characterized by pursuing one's own needs at the expense of others through dominance, criticism, or intimidation?

A) Passive B) Assertive C) Aggressive D) Passive-aggressive

16. Passive-aggressive communication is particularly corrosive because:

A) It is the most direct expression of hostility in the communication spectrum B) It expresses negative feelings or resistance indirectly, creating a double-bind where the recipient cannot address the hostility without the person denying it C) It combines the passive person's lack of assertiveness with the aggressive person's tendency to escalate D) It is always accompanied by contempt, making it impossible to repair

17. Which of the following is the best example of an assertive "I" statement?

A) "You always interrupt me when I'm talking, which shows you don't respect what I have to say." B) "It's not a big deal, but sometimes when you interrupt me I feel a little annoyed." C) "I feel frustrated when our conversations get interrupted before I finish my thought, because I need to know my perspective has been heard. Would you be willing to wait until I've finished before responding?" D) "Could you maybe try not to interrupt me? I know you probably don't mean anything by it."

18. Mehrabian's research finding (7% verbal, 38% paraverbal, 55% nonverbal) should be understood as:

A) A universal law of communication applicable in all contexts B) Applicable specifically to contexts of emotional communication — not a general law of all communication C) Outdated research that has since been disproven D) Evidence that words don't matter in communication

19. Which of the following correctly describes the relationship between Gottman's Four Horsemen and physiological flooding?

A) Flooding (physiological arousal above ~100 bpm) is caused by the Four Horsemen patterns B) Flooding occurs before the Four Horsemen — they are a response to physiological dysregulation C) Stonewalling typically occurs when flooding is occurring — the person is physiologically unable to engage productively D) The Four Horsemen cause flooding only in anxiously attached individuals

20. Gibb's "provisionalism" (as opposed to "certainty") in communication means:

A) Communicating tentatively and without confidence to avoid appearing arrogant B) Expressing views as genuinely open to being wrong — willing to reconsider based on new information C) Providing provisional agreement to smooth over disagreement D) Using hedging language ("maybe," "perhaps") in all communication

21. The chapter argues that for emotionally complex or important conversations, face-to-face communication is significantly more effective than text-based communication because:

A) Face-to-face communication is more formal and therefore taken more seriously B) Text-based communication lacks the nonverbal and paraverbal channels that carry relational content and enable real-time repair C) Digital communication is inherently adversarial because the absence of the other person removes inhibitions D) Text-based communication produces higher rates of misinterpretation due to autocorrect errors

22. According to the transactional model, when a communication is misunderstood, responsibility for the failure:

A) Lies entirely with the speaker who encoded the message incorrectly B) Lies entirely with the listener who failed to decode the message accurately C) Is distributed — both parties contribute to the co-construction of meaning and therefore to its failure D) Cannot be assigned without understanding the content of the communication

23. The "kitchen sink escalation" communication error refers to:

A) Avoiding any communication about domestic conflicts until they become too large to ignore B) Beginning a conversation about one specific complaint and then accumulating all previous grievances, so the conversation becomes about everything and resolves nothing C) The pattern where conflicts that begin in the home (kitchen) escalate to affect all areas of the relationship D) The tendency to raise serious concerns in mundane domestic settings rather than formal conversation

24. Gottman's antidote to criticism is the "gentle start-up." Which of the following best describes what this means in practice?

A) Beginning difficult conversations with a compliment before raising the concern B) Using "I" statements about your own experience rather than global character judgments, and focusing on specific behavior rather than character C) Starting the conversation slowly and increasing in intensity as the listener becomes more receptive D) Beginning with a question to gather the other person's perspective before sharing your own

25. The chapter's central thesis about communication is best captured by which of the following?

A) Effective communication is primarily about choosing the right words to encode the message accurately B) Most communication problems are not about content — they are about the defensive climate, listening quality, and what is left unexpressed rather than the words themselves C) Good communicators are born, not made — communication skill is primarily a function of personality and attachment style D) The key to good communication is being completely honest at all times, regardless of how the message might be received

Answer Key