Further Reading: Chapter 7 — Managing Your Emotions in the Heat of Conflict

The following twelve sources are organized by theme. Each annotation describes the source, its core contribution to the chapter's ideas, and how a reader might best use it. Difficulty ratings reflect accessibility to a general college audience.

Foundational Research

1. Gross, J. J. (2015). Emotion regulation: Current status and future prospects. Psychological Inquiry, 26(1), 1–26.

This review article represents Gross's most accessible summary of his process model of emotion regulation — the framework that organizes Section 7.1 of this chapter. Gross traces the five strategy families (situation selection, situation modification, attentional deployment, cognitive change, response modulation), reviews the evidence base for each, and addresses key debates in the field: whether some strategies are universally better than others, what role context plays, and how regulation capacity develops over time. The article is more readable than Gross's original 1998 theoretical paper and provides the clearest statement of his thinking on the distinction between antecedent-focused and response-focused strategies. Difficulty: Moderate. Recommended for anyone who wants the theoretical architecture behind the chapter's practical toolkit.

2. Lieberman, M. D., Eisenberger, N. I., Crockett, M. J., Tom, S. M., Pfeifer, J. H., & Way, B. M. (2007). Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli. Psychological Science, 18(5), 421–428.

The primary source for the affect labeling research discussed at length in Section 7.3 and Case Study 02. This paper reports the key fMRI study demonstrating that labeling emotions in words reduces amygdala activation relative to non-labeling conditions. The methodology is clearly described; the brain imaging figures are illuminating for readers with some neuroscience literacy. The paper's discussion section is where the theoretical implications are developed — particularly the argument that language and affect are more interdependent than previously assumed. Difficulty: Moderate-to-High (neuroscience content, but abstract and introduction are accessible). Case Study 02 provides a summary accessible to readers who find the primary paper dense.

3. Torre, J. B., & Lieberman, M. D. (2018). Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling as implicit emotion regulation. Emotion Review, 10(2), 116–124.

The meta-analytic companion to the 2007 paper. Torre and Lieberman synthesize findings from 386 studies to confirm that affect labeling reliably attenuates emotional responding across physiological and self-report measures. They clarify that the effect is distinct from distraction, suppression, and cognitive reappraisal — affect labeling is its own mechanism. The paper also addresses the specificity finding (more precise labels produce stronger effects) and extends the implications to clinical and applied settings. Difficulty: Moderate. An essential read for anyone who wants the empirical evidence base rather than just the finding.

Window of Tolerance and Somatic Approaches

4. Ogden, P., Minton, K., & Pain, C. (2006). Trauma and the Body: A Sensorimotor Approach to Psychotherapy. W. W. Norton.

This is the clinical source for the window of tolerance concept introduced in Section 7.1. The book presents Pat Ogden's Sensorimotor Psychotherapy model, which integrates somatic awareness with cognitive and emotional processing. The window of tolerance is developed in depth in the early chapters, with rich clinical illustrations. While the context is trauma therapy, the underlying model applies to any situation of emotional dysregulation — including ordinary interpersonal conflict. The book is densely clinical but rewarding. Difficulty: High (clinical text). Chapters 3–5 are the most relevant to this chapter's material and can be read independently.

5. Siegel, D. J. (2010). Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation. Bantam Books.

Dan Siegel, who popularized the "name it to tame it" phrase and has worked closely with Lieberman's research tradition, writes here for a general audience. Mindsight introduces readers to the concept of "integration" — the coordination of differentiated parts of the brain — as a foundation for emotional health and relational competence. The book covers the window of tolerance (which Siegel helped develop in clinical contexts), the neuroscience of affect labeling, and the role of narrative in emotional regulation. Siegel is an unusually gifted communicator of complex neuroscience. Difficulty: Low-to-Moderate. Highly recommended for readers who want the neuroscience made accessible and immediately applicable.

Emotion Regulation in Relationships and Conflict

6. Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Harmony Books.

Gottman's research on the physiology of conflict in intimate relationships is foundational to understanding what Chapter 4 calls emotional hijacking and what this chapter calls flooding. The chapter on "flooding" — Gottman's term for what happens when physiological arousal during conflict overwhelms the capacity to think and respond well — is directly relevant. His research on the 20-to-30-minute recovery timeline, physiological arousal patterns in conflictual couples, and the significance of the startup (how conversations begin) for their trajectories provides empirical grounding for the chapter's pre-regulation material. Difficulty: Low. Accessible and practical; research-grounded throughout.

7. Gross, J. J., & John, O. P. (2003). Individual differences in two emotion regulation processes: Implications for affect, relationships, and well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85(2), 348–362.

This paper provides the empirical evidence for one of the chapter's central arguments: that habitual suppression is consistently associated with worse interpersonal outcomes than habitual reappraisal (cognitive change). Gross and John followed participants over time, measuring their habitual regulation strategies and tracking outcomes in affect, relationships, and well-being. The findings are stark: high-suppression individuals remember less of emotional conversations, feel less authentic, and are rated as less likable by partners — who also experience lower intimacy and closeness with them. High-reappraisal individuals show the opposite pattern. Difficulty: Moderate. Required reading for anyone who wants the evidence that suppression is not a neutral coping strategy.

Self-Compassion and Post-Conflict Recovery

8. Neff, K. D. (2011). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. William Morrow.

Kristin Neff's book is the accessible companion to her academic research program on self-compassion. The book develops the three-component model (self-kindness, common humanity, mindfulness) with clinical illustrations, research summaries, and practical exercises. For this chapter's Section 7.4 (post-conversation recovery), the chapters on self-compassion and difficult emotions are most relevant. Neff's core argument — that self-compassion is associated with greater resilience and accountability, not with complacency — is directly applicable to how we treat ourselves after difficult conversations that did not go well. Difficulty: Low. Recommended for any reader who recognizes the harsh self-critic voice described in Section 7.4.

9. Nolen-Hoeksema, S., Wisco, B. E., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2008). Rethinking rumination. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 3(5), 400–424.

The definitive review article on rumination — the repetitive, unproductive cycling through distressing material that Section 7.4 distinguishes from purposeful processing. Nolen-Hoeksema and colleagues synthesize decades of research demonstrating that rumination prolongs depression, increases physiological arousal, and impairs problem-solving. The article also reviews what works as an alternative: behavioral activation, cognitive reappraisal, mindfulness-based approaches. For anyone who has wondered why they cannot "just stop thinking about it" — this article explains the mechanism and the evidence-based antidotes. Difficulty: Moderate. The review section on interventions is particularly practical.

Physiological Regulation

10. Walker, M. (2017). Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams. Scribner.

Walker's comprehensive treatment of sleep science is relevant here specifically for its chapters on sleep and emotional regulation. His research — and the broader field it summarizes — demonstrates that sleep deprivation has dramatic effects on amygdala reactivity, prefrontal cortex function, and emotional tone. Walker presents evidence that sleep is not merely restorative but actively re-calibrates the emotional brain. For conflict contexts: the implications of entering high-stakes conversations on inadequate sleep are neurologically substantial. The chapter on sleep and emotion is directly applicable to the body-preparation material in Section 7.2. Difficulty: Low. Written for a general audience; the sleep-and-emotion chapters are clearly marked.

11. Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. W. W. Norton.

Porges's polyvagal theory provides the deepest neurobiological grounding for the chapter's breathing-based regulation techniques. The theory describes the hierarchical organization of the autonomic nervous system — with the ventral vagal system (associated with social engagement, parasympathetic calm, and the capacity for connection) at the top, and the dorsal vagal system (associated with the shutdown/hypoarousal states) at the bottom. Understanding why the vagus nerve is central to emotional regulation — and why the exhale is the key lever — requires this theoretical framework. The book is technical; Deb Dana's The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy (2018) is a more accessible clinical translation. Difficulty: High (technical neuroscience text). Read the introduction and Chapter 2 for the conceptual foundation; return to the full text as expertise develops.

12. Pennebaker, J. W. (1997). Writing about emotional experiences as a therapeutic process. Psychological Science, 8(3), 162–166.

The foundational paper supporting the unsent letter technique in Section 7.2. Pennebaker reviews his program of research demonstrating that writing about traumatic and stressful experiences produces measurable improvements in physical health, immune function, mood, and cognitive functioning. The paper is short and accessible, and its theoretical account — that writing forces left-hemispheric linguistic processing of material held in subcortical emotional systems — provides the rationale for the technique's effectiveness. Pennebaker's longer book Opening Up: The Healing Power of Expressing Emotions (1997, Guilford Press) develops these ideas more fully for a general audience. Difficulty: Low. The primary paper is six pages and can be read in one sitting.

These twelve sources represent the primary research and theoretical traditions underlying Chapter 7. A reader who works through even three or four of them will find their understanding of the chapter's material substantially deepened — and, more importantly, will find the techniques more convincing, because they will understand not just what to do but why the mechanisms work.