Chapter 31 Exercises: Digital and Remote Confrontations

Section 31.1 — Why Digital Conflict Escalates Faster

Exercise 1 [Conceptual] ★ In your own words, describe the online disinhibition effect. What is the difference between benign and toxic disinhibition? Give one example of each from your own experience or observation.

Exercise 2 [Conceptual] ★ Suler identified six factors that produce online disinhibition: dissociative anonymity, invisibility, asynchronicity, solipsistic introjection, dissociative imagination, and minimization of status. Choose any two of these factors and explain how each one could intensify a conflict that begins online.

Exercise 3 [Scenario] ★★ Your friend sends you a text that reads: "I guess it's fine if you can't make it." You're not sure if they're being genuinely understanding or passive-aggressively disappointed. Describe the interpretation bias dynamic at work here. What factors are influencing your interpretation? What would you do?

Exercise 4 [Applied] ★★ Think of a time when you sent a digital message and had it misread, or when you misread a message from someone else. Using the concepts from Section 31.1 (interpretation bias, absent nonverbal cues, negativity default), analyze what happened. What was the gap between intended meaning and received meaning? What would have prevented the misread?

Exercise 5 [Conceptual] ★★ Explain asynchronous time distortion and its effect on conflict. If you send a confrontational email at 9 a.m. and the recipient doesn't respond until 4 p.m., what psychological processes might be happening on both sides? How is this different from a face-to-face confrontation?

Exercise 6 [Synthesis] ★★★ The chapter argues that "screenshot culture" has changed the nature of conflict by collapsing the distinction between private and public. Write a short essay (300–400 words) evaluating this claim. Do you think permanent digital records ultimately make conflict resolution easier or harder? Defend your position with reference to specific mechanisms described in Section 31.1.

Section 31.2 — Email Confrontations

Exercise 7 [Conceptual] ★ List three situations where email is an appropriate medium for confrontation, and three where it is not. For each of the "not appropriate" situations, identify what medium would be better and why.

Exercise 8 [Applied] ★★ Write two versions of an email addressing a colleague who has repeatedly interrupted you in team meetings. Version A: the email you might write immediately after a particularly frustrating meeting. Version B: the email you might write after applying the 24-hour draft rule. Compare the two versions — what changed? What stayed the same?

Exercise 9 [Scenario] ★★ Sam receives an email from her boss Marcus Webb that contains what she reads as a veiled criticism of her team's performance. She drafts a reply that begins, "I feel like this characterization is unfair and I want to address it." Using the email confrontation checklist from this chapter, review Sam's draft. What guidelines does it violate? What would you recommend?

Exercise 10 [Applied] ★★ Practice applying the permanent record test. Take the following three sentences and evaluate each one: Would this be appropriate in an email? If not, where does it belong? 1. "I was genuinely hurt when you didn't acknowledge my contribution in the meeting." 2. "Per our conversation on March 5th, we agreed to the revised deadline of March 15th." 3. "Honestly, I think you're avoiding this issue because you know I'm right."

Exercise 11 [Scenario] ★★ Marcus wants to address his concern that his supervisor Diane has been assigning him fewer hours without explanation. He has drafted an email with the subject line: "URGENT — We Need to Address the Hours Issue." Rewrite the subject line, the opening sentence, and one key request sentence using the guidelines from Section 31.2. Explain each change you made.

Exercise 12 [Synthesis] ★★★ The chapter advises that email "sends a message but does not produce a conversation." Develop this idea into a brief analysis (300–400 words). When might the inability to have a genuine dialogue be a feature rather than a bug? When is it a significant liability? Use concrete examples from professional or personal contexts.

Section 31.3 — Text and Messaging

Exercise 13 [Conceptual] ★ Research has shown that punctuation in texts carries social meaning beyond its grammatical function. Using the example "That's fine." vs. "That's fine" vs. "That's fine :)", describe what each version communicates beyond its literal content. Why does this matter for conflict?

Exercise 14 [Applied] ★★ Jade has been having an ongoing disagreement with Leo about their plans. The last four messages have been: - Jade: "I just feel like you never actually listen to what I want." - Leo: "I do listen. You just change your mind all the time." - Jade: "Wow. Okay." - Leo: [typing indicator visible for 3 minutes, then disappears]

Using the concepts from Section 31.3, analyze what is happening. At what point should this conversation have been moved to a richer medium? Write the phrase that Jade or Leo could use to make the switch.

Exercise 15 [Applied] ★★ Write three alternative versions of the text "We need to talk" — alternatives that signal the same intent to have an important conversation but do so without triggering the same distress response. For each alternative, explain what it does differently and why it is more effective.

Exercise 16 [Synthesis] ★★★ The typing indicator — three dots signaling that someone is composing a reply — has become a source of anxiety in digital communication. Design a brief research study (hypothesis, method, what you'd measure) that would test the relationship between typing indicators and anxiety during conflict conversations. What would you predict? What would the findings mean for how messaging apps should be designed?

Section 31.4 — Video Call Conflicts

Exercise 17 [Conceptual] ★★ Explain the "eye contact paradox" in video calls. Why does looking at the screen not produce the feeling of eye contact for the other person? How should this knowledge change your behavior during a difficult video conversation?

Exercise 18 [Applied] ★★ Using the Video Call Preparation Guide from this chapter, prepare for the following scenario: You need to address a concern with a remote colleague who has been missing deadlines. Their work affects your team directly. The conversation is uncomfortable and you've been avoiding it. Describe how you would prepare, what you would say in the opening, and how you would handle any technical disruptions that arise.

Exercise 19 [Scenario] ★★ Dr. Priya needs to have a difficult conversation with Dr. Vasquez about his documentation practices. The conversation must happen remotely because Vasquez is working from home. During the call, Vasquez's audio quality is poor, he appears to be in a dim room, and he is clearly distracted. How should Priya handle the technical issues? Should she proceed with the confrontation or address the technical problems first? What does good judgment look like here?

Exercise 20 [Synthesis] ★★★ The chapter describes video calls as occupying an "uncanny valley" — present but not quite present. Consider a context where video confrontation might actually be preferable to in-person confrontation (not just logistically preferable, but genuinely more conducive to productive conversation). Describe the scenario and the reasons. What does this tell us about when digital communication has advantages over face-to-face?

Exercise 21 [Conceptual] ★ Define the following terms in your own words and give one example of each: (a) call-out culture, (b) subtweeting, (c) passive-aggressive posting. For each, describe the likely effect on the conflict it is part of.

Exercise 22 [Applied] ★★ Using the Social Media Conflict Decision Tree from this chapter, work through the following scenario: A former colleague posts something on a professional networking platform that subtly implies your team was responsible for a project failure. You know the claim is factually inaccurate. Walk through each step of the decision tree and arrive at a specific recommended course of action.

Exercise 23 [Scenario] ★★ Sam discovers that Tyler has been complaining about her management style in a private group chat with other colleagues. One of those colleagues screenshots the conversation and sends it to Sam. How should Sam handle this? Consider: what medium she should use, what she should say, and what she should avoid doing. Apply the concepts from both Section 31.5 and Section 31.1 (permanence and screenshot culture).

Exercise 24 [Applied] ★★ Think of a public social media conflict you've witnessed (or read about). Identify the moment when the conflict crossed from manageable to escalated. Using the framework from Section 31.5, describe what either party could have done differently at that moment. What would an ideal response have looked like?

Exercise 25 [Synthesis] ★★★ The chapter argues that "call-out culture at its best functions as accountability; at its worst, it is weaponized social pressure." Write a nuanced essay (400–500 words) that takes a position on this claim. Under what conditions is public call-out appropriate and proportional? Under what conditions is it harmful? Use at least two examples — one that illustrates appropriate use and one that illustrates harmful use — to support your argument.

Integration and Synthesis Exercises

Exercise 26 [Applied] ★★ Develop your own personal "Digital Confrontation Protocol" — a set of rules you commit to following before engaging in any difficult conversation via digital media. Include rules for: whether to send at all, which medium to use, how to calibrate tone, and when to switch to a richer medium. Be specific and honest about which rules you find most difficult to follow.

Exercise 27 [Synthesis] ★★★ The medium richness table in this chapter ranks media from leanest (text) to richest (in-person). But some researchers argue that the concept of "richness" is too simple — that different media are not just richer or leaner but qualitatively different, suited for different purposes. Write a critique (300–400 words) of the medium richness framework. What does it get right? What does it miss? How would you modify or extend it?

Exercise 28 [Applied] ★★★ Design a workshop exercise for a team that has recently had a significant conflict via email that escalated and damaged working relationships. The team needs to: (a) understand what went wrong, (b) develop shared norms for future digital communication in conflict, and (c) repair the relationships affected. Describe the workshop design in detail: length, activities, materials, facilitator guidance.

Exercise 29 [Scenario] ★★★ Marcus and Tariq are having a conflict about household responsibilities that has migrated entirely to text. Marcus has been passive-aggressively texting, Tariq has been responding with one-word answers, and neither has been willing to bring it into in-person conversation because they share a small apartment and the proximity feels charged. Using everything from this chapter, advise Marcus on how to break the text-loop. Include: the specific phrase he might use to initiate a switch to in-person, how to time it, and what to do if Tariq refuses.

Exercise 30 [Synthesis] ★★★ Final integration: The chapter's central argument is that digital media strip away the nonverbal and relational context that makes conflict resolution possible. But a counterargument exists: for some people (those with social anxiety, those in situations with significant power differentials, those who need time to organize their thoughts), digital media may actually make confrontation more accessible — they can engage at all where they otherwise could not. Write an essay (500 words) that takes this counterargument seriously. What are its merits? What are its limits? How should we think about digital confrontation for people for whom face-to-face confrontation is a genuine barrier?