Chapter 39 Quiz: Becoming a Confrontation Coach

Part I — Multiple Choice

Select the best answer for each question.

1. Which of the following best describes the conflict coach role?

a) A neutral third party who facilitates conversation between both parties b) Someone who supports the person who came to them while helping them think clearly rather than solving the conflict for them c) Someone who gives practical advice based on their own experience with similar conflicts d) A trained professional with certification in conflict resolution

2. Research by Dernbach and McCauley (2011) found that coaching interventions, compared to advice-giving, produced:

a) Faster short-term resolution but lower quality agreements b) Slower short-term resolution but significantly better skill transfer six months later c) Similar outcomes in both the short and long term d) Better outcomes only when the coach had personal experience with the same conflict type

3. A facilitating response most often takes the form of:

a) "Here's what I would do in your position..." b) "You're right — that was unfair to you." c) "What do you think they were experiencing in that moment?" d) "Let me share what worked for me in a similar situation."

4. Shuttle diplomacy is best described as:

a) A formal mediation technique used in international disputes b) The practice of carrying perspective — not private information — between two parties who are not yet ready for direct conversation c) A strategy for avoiding confrontation by sending messages through a third party d) A technique for presenting both sides of a conflict to a supervisor

5. Which of the following is a sign that a situation has moved beyond informal helping into professional mediation territory?

a) The conflict has lasted more than two weeks b) Both parties are experiencing strong emotions c) The conflict involves potential legal issues or a significant power imbalance d) You have personal opinions about who is right

6. In the informal mediation structure, which phase comes immediately after individual storytelling?

a) Reaching a specific agreement b) Generating options c) Identifying needs and interests beneath the stated positions d) Closing with acknowledgment of courage

7. The most significant challenge of informal mediation between people you know is:

a) Managing the logistics of getting both parties in the same room b) Maintaining enough neutrality to be effective when you have existing opinions and loyalties c) Finding the right questions to ask during individual storytelling d) Ensuring that the agreement reached is specific enough to hold

8. Jade coaches her sister Sofia primarily by:

a) Telling her that Mr. Torres was in the right b) Writing out what Sofia should say in the meeting with the teacher c) Asking questions that help Sofia arrive at her own plan rather than providing the plan d) Advising Sofia to file a formal complaint with the school administration

9. Which of the following best represents the ethical limit related to "knowing when you're too close to help"?

a) Feeling nervous about the outcome of the conflict b) Knowing one of the parties personally c) Having a stake in the outcome or an unresolved conflict with one of the parties that is being activated d) Not having formal training in mediation

10. Marcus helps Tariq primarily by:

a) Telling Tariq that he was wrong to confront Amelia b) Asking Tariq whether he knew why Amelia had been behind, and what outcome he actually wanted c) Offering to mediate between Tariq and Amelia directly d) Advising Tariq to document the situation for the professor

Part II — Short Answer

Answer each question in 3–5 sentences.

11. Explain the difference between an advisor, a conflict coach, and a formal mediator. What distinguishes the conflict coach role from the other two?

12. Describe two situations in which advising is more appropriate than facilitating. What makes these situations different from the general case where facilitating is preferred?

13. What does it mean to "carry perspective, not information" in shuttle diplomacy? Provide an example of each to illustrate the distinction.

14. Why does advice given before the problem is fully understood tend to be ineffective, even when the advice is technically correct? Reference the relevant research discussed in this chapter.

15. Describe the six phases of the informal mediation structure. What is the purpose of each phase?

Part III — Application

Answer in 1–2 paragraphs.

16. A close friend comes to you and says: "My boyfriend and I had a huge fight last night and I'm thinking about breaking up with him. I don't know what to do. What would you do?"

Write your response — not as advice, but as facilitation. Include at least three coaching questions you would ask and explain why each question is structured the way it is.

17. You discover that two of your coworkers, both of whom you consider friends, are in a conflict about credit for a shared project. Each has come to you separately. Person A believes Person B has been undermining her. Person B believes Person A is being territorial and is not acknowledging his contributions.

What is your role here? Walk through: (a) what you can ethically do, (b) what you should not do, and (c) at what point, if any, you would refer to a manager or HR rather than continuing to help informally.

Part IV — Reflection

Answer thoughtfully in 1 paragraph.

18. Think about the people in your life who have helped you navigate conflicts in the past. Were they advisors, coaches, or formal helpers of some kind? What made their help effective or ineffective? What does reflecting on being the recipient of help teach you about the kind of helper you want to become?

Answer Key (Instructor Reference)

Part I — Multiple Choice

  1. b
  2. b
  3. c
  4. b
  5. c
  6. c
  7. b
  8. c
  9. c
  10. b

Part II — Short Answer (Suggested Content)

  1. The advisor is on the person's side and provides practical recommendations based on the advisor's own analysis. The formal mediator is neutral, trained, and facilitates directly between both parties. The conflict coach is on the side of the person who came to them but helps that person develop their own analysis rather than substituting the coach's analysis — "I'm here to help you think, not to think for you."

  2. Advising is more appropriate when: (a) the person is in crisis or overwhelmed and cannot process coaching questions; (b) there is a genuine knowledge or experience gap and the helper's expertise is legitimately needed; (c) urgency is real and there is no time for exploration; (d) the person explicitly requests advice and genuinely means it. These situations differ because the usual prerequisite for coaching — the person's capacity to find their own clarity — is temporarily unavailable or irrelevant.

  3. Carrying perspective means communicating the emotional experience of one party to another without sharing specific private disclosures. Example of carrying perspective: "She seems really hurt, and I think she doesn't know how to say that without it coming out as anger." Example of carrying information (problematic): "She told me she thinks you've been unfair to her for years." The first opens a door; the second arms one party with the other's private communications.

  4. Carl Rogers argued that helpers who move to solutions before fully understanding the problem produce advice that cannot be implemented — not because the advice is wrong, but because the emotional state underlying the conflict has not been processed. People who feel unheard do not implement advice well, regardless of its quality. Good advice to an unprocessed emotional state is like good directions to someone who doesn't know where they are.

  5. Six phases: (1) Opening — establish purpose, ground rules, and the helper's role; (2) Individual storytelling — each party speaks without interruption, focuses on feeling heard; (3) Identifying needs and interests — surface what is beneath the stated positions; (4) Finding common ground — what both parties share beneath the conflict; (5) Generating options — brainstorming without commitment; (6) Reaching specific agreement and closing — concrete commitments, check-in plan, and acknowledgment of what it took to have the conversation.

Parts III and IV: Evaluated for quality of coaching questions, ethical reasoning, and reflective depth. Strong responses in Part III will include questions that open rather than narrow, demonstrate understanding of the facilitating vs. advising distinction, and show awareness of the helper's ethical position. Strong Part IV responses will demonstrate genuine self-reflection and learning transfer.