Chapter 36 Further Reading

The following twelve sources represent the primary research, clinical, and theoretical literature underlying this chapter's treatment of chronic conflict. Annotations indicate the primary contribution of each work and guidance on when to pursue it.

1. Gottman, J. M. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Crown.

The accessible, practitioner-oriented presentation of Gottman's research findings, including the perpetual vs. solvable distinction, the 69% figure, and the four horsemen (criticism, contempt, stonewalling, defensiveness). The most widely read entry point into Gottman's work and an excellent foundation. The chapter on "gridlock vs. dialogue" directly underlies Chapter 36's treatment of the same distinction. Essential reading for anyone working with couple or partnership chronic conflict.

2. Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (updated edition). Harmony Books.

The revised edition of the above, updated to reflect 15 additional years of research and to include more diverse relationship examples. The "dreams within conflict" material is more developed here than in the 1999 version. This is the preferred edition if you're reading it for the first time. Chapter 10 ("Let Your Partner Influence You") and Chapter 12 ("Create Shared Meaning") are especially relevant to understanding how dreams operate in chronic conflict.

3. Gottman, J. M. (1994). What Predicts Divorce? The Relationship Between Marital Processes and Marital Outcomes. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

The primary academic text underlying Gottman's popular work — a rigorous presentation of the longitudinal research methodology, the coding systems, and the statistical findings. Significant in establishing the empirical basis for the perpetual problem concept. Not a casual read, but essential for anyone who wants to understand the research rather than just its conclusions. Useful for students evaluating the methodological basis of Gottman's claims.

4. Weiner-Davis, M. (1992). Divorce Busting. Summit Books.

Introduces the "one thing different" approach in the context of relationship intervention. Weiner-Davis, working in the solution-focused tradition, argues that you can shift a stuck relationship pattern by making small, unilateral changes and observing the system's response. The book is more accessible than its title suggests and provides extensive practical guidance on the mechanics of pattern interruption. Directly underlies Section 36.3's treatment of the "one thing different" experiment.

5. de Shazer, S. (1985). Keys to Solution in Brief Therapy. W. W. Norton.

The foundational text of solution-focused brief therapy, which developed the "one thing different" methodology as a clinical approach. De Shazer's focus on small changes and system responsiveness provides the theoretical basis for the unilateral change principle. More technical than Weiner-Davis but valuable for understanding the theoretical framework behind pattern interruption interventions.

6. Minuchin, S. (1974). Families and Family Therapy. Harvard University Press.

The foundational text of structural family therapy, providing the systems-theory framework that underlies much of this chapter's treatment of circular patterns, homeostasis, and the functional analysis of recurring behaviors. Minuchin's concept of "triangulation" — in which a third party is used to manage tension between two others — is directly relevant to understanding how chronic conflicts are maintained in family systems. Essential background for the structural conflict section.

7. Bowen, M. (1978). Family Therapy in Clinical Practice. Jason Aronson.

Murray Bowen's collected clinical papers, including his foundational concepts of differentiation of self, emotional fusion, and multigenerational transmission of conflict patterns. The differentiation concept directly underlies the chapter's treatment of unilateral change: a more differentiated person can change their contribution to a pattern without being swept back by the system's reactivity. Dense but foundational for understanding the systems-theory basis of chronic conflict.

8. Watzlawick, P., Beavin, J. H., & Jackson, D. D. (1967). Pragmatics of Human Communication. W. W. Norton.

A classic text in communication theory and systems thinking, foundational to the understanding of circular patterns, the punctuation of sequences (who "starts" a conflict depends on where you begin the loop), and the principle that systems resist change in predictable ways. The "more of the same" trap — where attempts to solve a circular problem using the same frame reinforce it — is particularly relevant to chronic conflict. Dense but rewarding.

9. Ury, W. (2015). Getting to Yes with Yourself. HarperCollins.

Ury, co-author of the landmark Getting to Yes, here turns to the internal work required before effective negotiation is possible. The book's treatment of "going to the balcony" — gaining perspective on your own patterns and reactions — is directly relevant to the payoff audit and pattern interruption sections of this chapter. A practical and humane guide to the inner work of conflict engagement.

10. Satir, V. (1972). Peoplemaking. Science and Behavior Books.

Virginia Satir's accessible presentation of family systems concepts, including her communication stances (placating, blaming, computing, distracting, leveling) and the role of self-esteem in communication patterns. Her concept of "leveling" — congruent, self-respecting, direct communication — provides a useful model for what dialogue with perpetual problems can aspire to. More humanistic than clinical, and accessible to non-specialist readers.

11. Tjosvold, D. (1991). The Conflict-Positive Organization. Addison-Wesley.

A research-based treatment of how organizations can develop productive relationships to ongoing conflict — directly addressing the extension of perpetual problem concepts to workplace settings. Tjosvold's "cooperative conflict" research demonstrates that teams that engage their recurring tensions with mutual inquiry rather than competitive defensiveness outperform teams that resolve conflicts through authority or avoidance. Valuable for students interested in organizational application.

12. Lerner, H. (2001). The Dance of Connection. HarperCollins.

Harriet Lerner's follow-up to the widely read The Dance of Anger, this volume addresses the challenge of authentic connection in relationships where chronic conflict has created distance. Her concept of the "counterpart move" — the predictable response your automatic behavior elicits in the other person — is a practical expression of the circular pattern concept. Lerner writes with particular sensitivity to the gendered dimensions of chronic conflict patterns and who bears the burden of change. Highly readable and clinically grounded.