Appendix G — Scripts and Phrasebook

Ready-to-use words for the situations that trip up newcomers most. Copy them, adapt them, keep them on your phone. (These collect and expand the Try This / Script boxes from across the book.) Calibrate tone to your country — more direct/warm in the US, more understated in the UK, more formal in Germany/France.

Greetings & small talk (Ch. 6, 7)

  • Greeting ritual: "Hi, how's it going?" → reply: "Good, you?" (keep moving).
  • Asking a name preference: "It's great to meet you — what would you like me to call you?"
  • Introducing your name: "I'm [Name] — it's pronounced [simple guide]; don't worry, it takes practice!" (or: "...most people call me [short form], which is easier — either's fine.")
  • Small-talk openers: "How was your weekend?" · "Any plans for the weekend?" · "How do you know [host]?" · "Crazy weather, huh?"
  • Graceful exit: "It was great chatting — I'm going to grab a drink, but let's talk again!"

Asking when you don't know a rule (Ch. 1)

  • "I'm still new to how things work here — is it normal to [X]?"
  • "Can I ask you something cultural? When someone says '[phrase],' do they mean it literally, or is it more of a friendly thing?"
  • "I want to get this right — what would you do in this situation?"

At work: disagreeing, feedback, saying no (Ch. 15)

  • Disagree (respectfully): "I see it differently — my concern is [reason]. Can we look at that?"
  • Disagree with a senior: "That's a fair point. One risk I'd flag is [X] — could we consider [alternative]?"
  • Give feedback (direct + warm): "This is strong overall. One thing to improve: [specific]."
  • Say no to extra work: "I'd love to help, but I'm at capacity with [X] — could this wait, or should we reprioritize?"
  • Buy time (without a fake yes): "Let me check and get back to you by [time]." (Then do.)
  • Speak up in a meeting: "I have a quick thought…" · "Building on what [name] said…" · "One question: how does this affect [X]?"

Self-promotion & networking (Ch. 16)

  • Claim credit (results + team): "I led [X], and I'm proud of what the team delivered — we [result]."
  • Visible update: "Quick update — I finished [X] and it [outcome]. Happy to share more."
  • Coffee-chat request: "I've recently moved here and I'm exploring [field] — could I buy you a coffee and hear about your work?"
  • Ask for a raise: "I'd like to talk about my compensation. Based on my contributions and market rates, I was hoping for [X]."

Interviewing & negotiating (Ch. 19)

  • STAR answer frame: "When [situation], I needed to [task]. I did [action], and we achieved [result, with a number]."
  • Salary expectations (deflect early): "I'd like to learn more about the role first — what range is budgeted for this position?"
  • Counter an offer: "Thank you — I'm excited about this. Based on my experience and market rates, I was hoping for closer to [X]; is there flexibility?"
  • Always have questions ready: "What does success look like in this role in the first six months?"

Boundaries & balance (Ch. 18)

  • After-hours boundary: "Thanks for this — I'm logged off for the evening, but I'll take care of it first thing tomorrow."
  • Hard stop: "I've got a hard stop at [time] — let's make sure we cover the key things first."

Food, drink, dietary needs (Ch. 9)

  • Decline alcohol: "I'm good with sparkling water, thanks — I don't drink!" (no explanation owed).
  • State a dietary need (in advance): "I should mention, I'm [vegetarian / don't eat pork / have a nut allergy] — but please don't go to any trouble."
  • Bring-something offer: "Can I bring anything?" (and bring a small something regardless).

Healthcare & rights (Ch. 12, 30)

  • Check insurance (US): "Do you take my insurance? Are you in-network for [plan]?"
  • Request an interpreter: "Could I please have an interpreter for [language]?"
  • Pharmacy (save money): "Is there a generic version that costs less?"

Religion & accommodations (Ch. 31)

  • Request prayer time: "I observe daily prayers — could I step away for ~10 minutes around [time]? I'll make up any work."
  • Request a religious holiday: "I observe [holiday] on [date] — could I take it as a day off / use PTO?"

Relationships (Ch. 25, 26)

  • Turn a signal into a plan: "I'd love that — are you free Thursday at 7 for coffee?"
  • The exclusivity talk: "I've really enjoyed getting to know you, and I'd like to be exclusive. How do you feel about that?"
  • Respond to a microaggression (Ch. 32), on your terms: [let it go] · "I'm from [city] — born and raised." · "What do you mean by really?"

Explaining your culture (Ch. 27, 39)

  • Family closeness (reframe, not defend): "In my culture, family is one close unit across generations — staying involved and supporting each other is how we show care; it's a strength, not control."
  • A practice/holiday: "Where I'm from, [practice] means [care/meaning/strength] — I'd love to share it with you sometime."

Country-specific essentials (Part VII)

  • France: always "Bonjour Madame/Monsieur" before any request; attempt French ("Bonjour, je voudrais…, s'il vous plaît").
  • UK: lead with self-deprecation, not self-promotion; "Cheers!" (thanks/bye); read understatement.
  • Australia: be humble (tall poppy); tease back gently (banter); "No worries."
  • Germany: be punctual and a bit formal (Sie + titles); expect/give bluntness.

These are starting scripts — make them sound like you. The goal isn't to memorize lines but to have a confident place to start in the moments that used to leave you stuck.