Chapter 4 — Exercises

The goal here is to get comfortable with the two opposite traps — over-deferring and overstepping — and to thread between them: surface equality, private power-literacy. Sample answers for closed items follow at the end.

A. What Would You Do?

Scenario 1: "Call me Mike"

The 55-year-old director introduces himself: "I'm Mike." For the next two weeks you avoid using his name, or say "sir." You notice he seems slightly distant. You:

  • (a) Keep using "sir" — respect matters more than his comfort.
  • (b) Start calling him "Mike," even though it feels strange, because in this culture the first name signals belonging and "sir" signals distance.
  • (c) Ask him directly: "How would you like me to address you?"
  • (d) Use no name at all and hope it works out.

Scenario 2: The boss asks for your opinion

In a meeting, your manager lays out a plan, then asks, "What does everyone think?" You see a real problem. You:

  • (a) Stay silent and agree — challenging the boss is disrespectful.
  • (b) Say "It sounds great" to be safe.
  • (c) Offer your view respectfully: "I like the direction. One risk I see is the timeline — can we look at that?"
  • (d) Say nothing now, then email your concern privately so no one sees you disagree.

Scenario 3: The over-friendly newcomer

A colleague who took "we're all equal here" completely literally just interrupted the CEO mid-sentence in a town hall to argue, loudly and publicly, that a major decision was "honestly kind of dumb." You:

  • (a) Admire it — equality means anyone can say anything to anyone.
  • (b) Recognize that even in low power-distance cultures, hidden hierarchy and basic respect still apply; public humiliation of a senior usually backfires.
  • (c) Conclude the whole "equality" thing was a lie.
  • (d) Note the difference between disagreeing respectfully with reasons and attacking publicly.

Scenario 4: Reading the hidden ladder (new)

You're new at a "flat" company with no titles and first names everywhere. You need to know whose buy-in actually matters for your project. You:

  • (a) Assume everyone's input counts equally, since the company says it's flat.
  • (b) Ask the loudest person, assuming they're in charge.
  • (c) Quietly observe the signals of real power — whose ideas get repeated and credited, who's cc'd on key emails, who people check with before deciding, whose calendar everyone works around.
  • (d) Treat everyone with equal courtesy and privately map who actually drives decisions.

Scenario 5: The age-vs-rank surprise (new)

A confident 26-year-old manages your team; an experienced 50-year-old reports to her. In your home culture, the older person would automatically command more deference. You:

  • (a) Defer to the older colleague as the "real" authority and treat the young manager casually.
  • (b) Refuse to take direction from someone so young.
  • (c) Recognize that in Western professional life, rank and competence usually outrank age — and treat the young manager as your manager (while respecting the older colleague as a peer).
  • (d) Keep your personal respect for elders for your personal life, and read the actual power structure at work.

For each, choose and justify using "power distance" and "the illusion of equality." Why is 3(b)+(d) the mature read? Why does age not track authority at work here?

B. Decode This

What do these manager phrases really mean, and what hidden rule comes with each? 1. "My door is always open." 2. "We're all equal here / I'm just one of the team." 3. "What do you think?" (asked by your boss) 4. "Feel free to push back." 5. "Let's keep this informal." 6. (new) "We're like a family here." 7. (new) "I trust your judgment — run with it." ("Take ownership.")

C. Translate Between Cultures

Task 1 — De-stiffen an email. Rewrite this over-deferential message into appropriately confident, warm Western English (while staying polite):

"Most respected Sir, I am extremely sorry to disturb your valuable time. If it is not too much trouble and if you kindly permit, this humble person would be most grateful to perhaps request your esteemed guidance whenever convenient."

Task 2 — Disagree upward. Your senior manager proposes a deadline you think is unrealistic. Write: 1. A version that over-defers (says yes, hides the concern). 2. A respectful, reasoned upward disagreement suitable for a low power-distance workplace.

Task 3 — Public vs. private challenge (new). You disagree with a senior's idea. Write (1) the version you'd say in a big public meeting (careful, idea-focused, face-saving) and (2) the fuller version you'd raise in a private one-on-one. Why does the setting change the wording?

D. Culture-Shock Journal

  1. Your power-distance setting. How were you taught to treat seniors, elders, and bosses? How does that compare to what you see in your new culture? Where do you feel the friction most?
  2. A name moment. Describe the first time you had to call a senior person by their first name (or avoided it). What did it feel like? What did you do?
  3. The hidden ladder. In your workplace or school, who actually holds power, beneath the first-name friendliness? How can you tell?
  4. Showing respect by engaging (new). In your home culture you may show respect by withdrawing (deferring, staying quiet). Describe one situation where the Western move — showing respect by engaging (speaking up, meeting their eyes) — felt backwards but worked.

E. Ask a Local

Ask a Western colleague: - "Is it really okay to disagree with your manager? How do people do it without causing problems?" - "When is it not okay to be casual with a senior person here?" - (new) "Who actually makes the decisions on this team — beyond what the org chart says?"

Record the answer. Did it reveal a 'hidden hierarchy' beneath the friendly surface?

F. Self-Assessment: Power-distance comfort

Rate 1–5 (1 = very uncomfortable, 5 = very comfortable): 1. Calling a much older, senior person by their first name. 2. Disagreeing with a boss in a meeting, respectfully. 3. Walking up to a senior leader to ask a question. 4. Giving my real opinion when a manager asks "what do you think?" 5. Reading the real power structure beneath the informal surface.

Note date and scores; re-take after Chapter 14 (The Western Workplace). (Appendix J collects the book's self-assessments.)

Sample Answers & Discussion

A: 1 → (b) (or (c) if genuinely unsure) — the first name signals belonging; "sir" creates the distance you're trying to avoid. 2 → (c) — a low power-distance boss who asks usually wants a real view; silence (a/b) reads as disengagement; (d) hides your contribution and can seem to go behind their back. 3 → (b)+(d) — equality does not erase hidden hierarchy or basic respect; the error wasn't disagreeing, it was publicly humiliating a senior. Respectful, reasoned disagreement is welcome; public attack is not. 4 → (c)/(d) — read the signals of real power and map the hidden ladder while staying courteous to all. 5 → (c)/(d) — at work, rank/competence usually outrank age; keep your elder-respect for personal life and read the actual structure.

B — Decode This: 1 = "Come with quick questions/ideas — but still respect the chain of command; don't go over your manager's head to complain." 2 = a sincere value, not a literal fact (they can still fire/promote you). 3 = usually a genuine request for input — give a real opinion, not just agreement. 4 = disagreement is genuinely welcome — but how (respectful, reasoned, not humiliating) still matters. 5 = relax the formality — but informality is not the absence of judgment. 6 = a warm value and sometimes a lever to extract loyalty/extra hours; enjoy the warmth, keep boundaries. 7 = "take ownership and drive it without being chased" — a big individualist expectation.

C — Task 1 model: "Hi [First name], could I get your input on something when you have a few minutes? Happy to work around your schedule — thanks!" (Warm, confident, brief — no self-erasure.) Task 2 models: Over-defer: "Sure, no problem, we'll make Monday work." Respectful upward disagreement: "I want to flag something: Monday is high-risk given the current data timeline. I can hit Wednesday confidently, or Tuesday if we drop [X]. Which would you prefer?" Task 3: the public version is gentler and idea-focused ("one risk worth flagging…"); the private version can be fuller and franker — the setting changes the wording because public criticism of a senior threatens face even in flat cultures.

D, E, F are personal — your honest reflection is the answer.