Chapter 6 — Exercises

Names are a solved problem once you have a few rules and scripts. These exercises build the reflexes. Sample answers for closed items follow.

A. What Would You Do?

Scenario 1: The new manager

On day one in a US office, your manager (age 50) says: "Hi, I'm Jennifer!" You: - (a) Call her "Mrs. [Lastname]" to be respectful. - (b) Call her "Ms. Jennifer." - (c) Call her "Jennifer," as she introduced herself. - (d) Avoid using any name.

Scenario 2: "Please, call me Dave"

You've been writing "Dear Mr. Robinson." He replies: "No need to be formal — please call me Dave!" You: - (a) Keep writing "Mr. Robinson" out of respect. - (b) Switch to "Dave," since he asked. - (c) Compromise with "Mr. Dave." - (d) Stop using his name entirely.

Scenario 3: Your mangled name

A colleague keeps mispronouncing your name and finally says, "Can I just call you [random easy nickname]?" You: - (a) Say yes immediately, even though you dislike it, to avoid trouble. - (b) Decide: if you are fine with a short form of your name, offer that; if not, kindly teach the correct pronunciation — your choice, not theirs to impose. - (c) Feel hurt and say nothing. - (d) Conclude you must adopt an English name forever.

Scenario 4: The form with two boxes (new)

A government form asks for "First name" and "Surname." Your name's family-name-first order doesn't fit. You: - (a) Write it in your home order and hope it sorts itself out. - (b) Map it to match your passport — given name in "First," family name in "Surname" — and use that exact mapping on every document. - (c) Let whoever's helping you guess which is which. - (d) Use a different mapping on each form depending on your mood.

Scenario 5: The pronouns introduction (new)

A new colleague says, "Hi, I'm Alex, I use they/them." You: - (a) Argue that "they" is plural and refuse. - (b) Use "they/them" for Alex, and if you slip, correct yourself briefly ("he— sorry, they") and move on. - (c) Avoid referring to Alex at all. - (d) Ask intrusive questions about why.

Choose and justify each. Why is the key word in Scenario 3 "choice"? Why does the passport anchor (Scenario 4) prevent months of friction?

B. Decode This

  1. "Please, call me Steve."
  2. "What do you go by?"
  3. "She's Dr. Patel" (said about your colleague in a hospital).
  4. Being called "Mr. David" by a service worker in some countries vs. "Mr. Johnson" at a Western office.
  5. An email signed "Best, Kate" when the directory lists "Katherine."
  6. (new) "And your name is...?" followed by them writing it down.
  7. (new) "How do you pronounce that? I want to get it right."

C. Translate Between Cultures

Task 1 — Address calibration. For each person, write how you'd address them on first contact, and how that might change later: 1. A German professor named Dr. Anna Weber. 2. An American colleague who introduces herself as "Jen." 3. A potential client in France you've never met.

Task 2 — Introduce your name. Write a one-sentence, friendly introduction of your own name (real or imagined) that (a) gives the pronunciation and (b) puts the listener at ease. Then write a version that offers a shorter form, if you'd want one.

Task 3 — Map your name to the boxes (new). Take your actual name and write exactly what goes in "First/Given name," "Middle name" (if any), and "Surname/Family name" — matching your passport. Then write your one-line proactive clarification ("My family name is , my given name is ").

D. Culture-Shock Journal

  1. Your name's journey. How has your name been treated since you arrived? How has it felt?
  2. Your choice. Have you kept it, shortened it, or used an English name? Was it a conscious choice or a default? Knowing this chapter, would you choose differently?
  3. Reciprocity. Whose name do you keep getting wrong? Write a plan to learn it (ask them, write the sounds, practice).
  4. Names carry values (new). Your name's structure (family-first or given-first, patronymics, etc.) encodes something about your culture. What does yours encode — and how does it feel to have it reordered by Western forms?

E. Ask a Local

Ask a Western friend/colleague: - "How soon do people switch to first names here? Are there situations where I should stay formal?" - "Is it 'Ms.', 'Mrs.', or 'Miss' when I don't know someone's marital status?" - (new) "Has anyone ever struggled with your name? How did you feel about it?"

Record the answer; note any surprises versus this chapter.

F. Self-Assessment

Rate 1–5: 1. I know when to use first names vs. titles in my new country. 2. I'm comfortable asking "What would you like me to call you?" 3. I have a clear, friendly way to introduce my own name. 4. I can fill out Western forms correctly with my name order. 5. I use the names/pronouns people give me, and correct myself easily if I slip.

Note date and scores. (Appendix J collects the book's self-assessments.)

Sample Answers & Discussion

A: 1 → (c) — use the first name she gave; "Mrs./Ms. Jennifer" is incorrect (titles go with last names) and "Mrs. + lastname" over-formalizes what she offered casually. 2 → (b) — "call me Dave" is a genuine request; complying builds warmth, and "Mr. Dave" is grammatically odd to Western ears. 3 → (b) — the key word is choice: you may offer a short form of your name if you like it, or teach the correct one, but a name should not be imposed on you by someone else's convenience. 4 → (b) — anchor everything to your passport; one consistent mapping prevents "name mismatch" flags on visas/banks (Case Study 2). 5 → (b) — use the pronouns given; a brief self-correction if you slip is all that's needed.

B — Decode This: 1 = a real invitation to use his first name — accept it. 2 = "which name/nickname do you use?" — a friendly, useful question. 3 = use "Dr. Patel" (titles matter in medical settings). 4 = "Mr. [Firstname]" occurs in some cultures/service contexts but sounds incorrect among Western professionals, where titles attach to the last name. 5 = she prefers "Kate" — use it, despite the formal directory entry. 6 = a routine identity check — give the name your records use. 7 = genuine respect — reward it by teaching the pronunciation warmly.

C — Task 1 models: 1 = "Dear Professor Weber" / "Dear Dr. Weber" (formal; stay formal until invited otherwise — Germany). 2 = "Jen" right away. 3 = "Bonjour Madame [Lastname]" / "Dear Madame [Lastname]" — formal first contact in France. Task 2 models: "I'm Anjali — it rhymes roughly with 'un-juh-lee,' and it's easy once you've said it once!" / "...most people here call me Anj, which is simpler — either is fine with me." Task 3: the point is one consistent, passport-matching mapping plus a ready clarification sentence.

D, E, F are personal — your honest reflection is the answer.