Chapter 15 — Exercises
These rehearse the highest-leverage workplace skills: speaking up, disagreeing well, handling feedback, and saying no. Sample answers for closed items follow.
A. What Would You Do?
Scenario 1: The silent meeting
Your manager asks for input on a plan you have real concerns about. You: - (a) Stay silent to be respectful; raise it gently and indirectly later, if at all. - (b) Voice your concern respectfully, with a reason: "I like the direction; one risk I see is the timeline — can we look at that?" - (c) Say "sounds great" to be safe. - (d) Wait to be directly asked by name.
Scenario 2: The stinging feedback
Your manager says, "Strong work overall — but your reports need clearer structure; please tighten them." You: - (a) Conclude you're failing and panic. - (b) Read it at true volume — sincere praise + ordinary coaching — and respond "thanks, that's helpful, I'll tighten them." - (c) Get defensive and argue. - (d) Feel personally rejected.
Scenario 3: The overload
Your manager asks you to take on a third major project; you're already at capacity. You: - (a) Say "yes" and quietly burn out / deliver poorly. - (b) Say a skillful no: "I'd love to, but I'm at capacity with X and Y — should we reprioritize, or can this wait?" - (c) Say nothing and miss the deadline. - (d) Refuse flatly with no reason.
Scenario 4: Channel choice
You have a complex, slightly sensitive issue needing back-and-forth. You: - (a) Send a long email and hope. - (b) Suggest a quick call/meeting ("could we hop on a call to sort this out?"). - (c) Post it in a public Slack channel. - (d) Say nothing.
Scenario 5: The blunt critique you deliver (new)
You're from a very direct culture. You tell a US colleague, flatly, "No, that's wrong, this won't work." They look hurt and become defensive. You: - (a) Conclude Americans are "too sensitive" and keep your blunt style. - (b) Keep the honest content but soften the delivery: "I see a problem here — I don't think this will scale; could we rethink it?" - (c) Stop giving honest feedback at all. - (d) Add warmth markers (acknowledge what's good, frame critique collaboratively) and calibrate by listener.
Choose and justify each. Why does Scenario 1(a)'s "silence" backfire in a Western meeting? In Scenario 5, what changes — content or delivery?
B. Decode This
- "As per my last email…"
- "Just to clarify…"
- "Circling back on this."
- "No worries either way."
- "Let's disagree and commit."
- (new) "Can we take this offline?"
- (new) "I have some thoughts — happy to jump on a quick call."
C. Translate Between Cultures
Task 1 — From silence to voice. You have a useful point but your instinct is to stay quiet. Write a short, respectful way to contribute it in a meeting (use a softener + the point + a reason).
Task 2 — From indirect to direct-but-warm feedback. A junior colleague's report is disorganized. Write: 1. A too-indirect version (the message gets lost). 2. A direct-but-warm version (clear + kind).
Task 3 — Soften delivery, keep content (new). Take three blunt sentences ("That's wrong." / "This is bad." / "No.") and rewrite each as direct-but-warm, keeping the honest message intact. What stays, what changes?
D. Culture-Shock Journal
- Silence vs. voice. In your home culture, what does silence in a meeting signal? How is that different here? Where have you been misread?
- Feedback. Recall feedback that stung more than intended. Re-read it at "true volume" — what was actually said?
- Saying no. When did you say "yes" when you should have said "no"? What did it cost? Draft the skillful "no" you wish you'd given.
- Your direction of travel (new). Is your home style more cushioned or more blunt than your new workplace's? So do you need to add voice/directness (like Mai) or warmth/tact (like Noa)?
E. Ask a Local
Ask a trusted colleague: - "How do people disagree with the boss here without causing problems?" - "How direct is feedback here — and how should I take it?" - (new) "Is my feedback style landing okay, or do I come across as too soft / too blunt?"
Record the answer.
F. Self-Assessment
Rate 1–5: 1. I speak up in meetings (at least one point each time). 2. I can disagree respectfully, including with seniors. 3. I take direct feedback at true volume, without devastation. 4. I can say a skillful "no" to extra work. 5. I choose the right channel (email/chat/call) and write clearly.
Note date and scores; re-take after a month. (Appendix J collects the book's self-assessments; Appendix G has scripts.)
Sample Answers & Discussion
A: 1 → (b) — voice it respectfully with a reason; silence (a/c/d) is read as disengagement or having no views, not as respect, and can stall your standing. 2 → (b) — read at true volume (praise sincere, coaching ordinary). 3 → (b) — a skillful, reasoned no protects your work and is respected; an overwhelmed yes (a) fails. 4 → (b) — complex/sensitive + back-and-forth = call/meeting. 5 → (b)/(d) — keep the honest content, soften the delivery and add warmth markers; "too sensitive" (a) is a translation error (US directness is cushioned).
B — Decode This: 1 = "I already told you this" (mild irritation). 2 = often a polite correction. 3 = following up on something unanswered. 4 = genuinely flexible (or softening a preference). 5 = voice your disagreement, then fully support the decision once made. 6 = "let's discuss this privately/later" (not in this big meeting/thread). 7 = a polite move to a richer channel for something complex.
C — Task 1 model: "I have a quick thought — I like this overall, but I'm a little concerned the timeline doesn't include testing; could we build that in?" Task 2: (1) too-indirect: "There were some nice bits in there; maybe the structure could be looked at sometime." (2) direct-but-warm: "Good content overall. The main fix: reorganize it so the key finding comes first — that'll make it much stronger. Happy to show you an example." Task 3: content (the honest judgment) stays; what changes is the framing — name the problem not the person, propose a path, and add a collaborative "could we…?"
D, E, F are personal — your honest reflection is the answer.